"Scoop" by Evelyn Waugh

Evelyn Waugh might have been a judgmental ultra-conservative, but he also had a sharp wit that spares none but his protagonist in "Scoop."

While it is possible to allow the underlying racism of a story in which the populace of a fictitious African nation is depicted as bumbling, incapable and corrupt to be all you come away with, a thorough read will reveal Waugh's contempt for practically all walks of life. The English gentry, the gaggle of journalists descending on Ishmaelia, the Swedes and Germans and Russians who round out the cast of characters -- all are as unfavorably represented as any character of color and just as frequently the butt of the joke. It is primarily the sparse but unfortunate use of certain disparaging and pejorative words in the narration, and not the dialogue, that shifts what might have been a depiction of racist traits to outright in-your-face racism on the part of the author.

The wordplay in "Scoop" is where the masterful comedy can be found. Not all jokes are gold medal winners, but like a riffing comedian Waugh forges quickly ahead and the groaners get lost in the wake. I often found myself laughing out loud at the raw simplicity of the humor and the way in which, in one scene, Waugh lays bare the eccentric frailties and prejudices of each character.

The late Simon Cadell's performance of the material is flawless. He attacks every word in rapid fire approach that leaves the listener, much like protagonist William Boot, clinging on for dear while strange and befuddling events unfold around him. While I'm sure the narrators of Waugh's other books on Audible do a fine job, I can't help thinking it a shame Cadell didn't record them all.

Book Rating: 4 out of 5
Audio Rating: 5 out of 5

"The Maltese Falcon" by Dashiell Hammett

This is not a book review, because "The Maltese Falcon" is not just a book. It is perfection from cover to cover by a master of hard-boiled detective fiction at the height of his abilities. If you have ever picked up the book and read "The Maltese Falcon" and somehow managed to not enjoy the experience, the fault is entirely yours.

Sam Spade is iconic. The falcon is wrapped in an intricate mystery that is complex without being convoluted. Bridgette O'Shaughnessy is the model of a multi-layered, three-dimensional femme fatale whose erratic behavior and scheming are never solely for narrative convenience. Joel Cairo, Casper Gutman and Wilmer Cook are a wicked trio of baddies that do so much more than sneer and threaten. The dialogue is crisp. The action is thrilling. There's violence, romance, intrigue, betrayal, secret affairs, double dealing, chicanery and murder. What more do you want?!

Well, if you're shopping at Audible, maybe a stronger vocal delivery.

The problem with this particular version of the classic novel is entirely in the telling. After sampling the few available choices at Audible and finding one narrator too flat and the other too whiny, I settled on Eric Meyers who promised to be just right. Unfortunately, his characterizations during dialogue are overacted while his narration never seems to vary to match the pacing of the story. Everything is delivered deliberately, as if Meyers were afraid we might miss the vital importance of every "and," "but" or "the" if he suddenly became inspired by Hammett's prose and spoke too passionately.

The most egregious offense is the voice he chooses for Joel Cairo. Granted, anyone who has seen the film is aware of Peter Lorre's magnificently subtle performance. Any narrator, no matter how skilled a performer, is doomed to pale in comparison. Fans of the radio comedy group Firesign Theatre, however, might wonder if Meyers wasn't doing his best impersonation of the villainous Rocky Rococo from the Nick Danger skits that were themselves spoofs of noir dramas like "The Maltese Falcon." Every time Cairo has a line of dialogue, all I can hear in the back of my head is Rococo screaming "What about my pickle?!"

There is no link to the Audible version of this book because Meyers' version is not, at present, available at the website. Perhaps a passable version will appear one day, but until thin I recommend picking up the book and reading it for yourself.

Book Rating: 5 out of 5
Audio Rating: 2 out of 5

"Sherlock Holmes" by Arthur Conan Doyle

Buckle up and settle in for a long-distance journey back in time by train, four-wheeler, bicycle and dog cart through the streets of 19th century London and beyond.

At nearly 63 hours (72 if you purchase the Definitive Collection), Stephen Fry's presentation of Arthur Conan Doyle's many "Sherlock Holmes" stories and books is a delightfully spry, eye-winking love song. Fans of the fictional detective can follow the narrator chronologically from the introductory novel "A Study in Scarlett," in which we meet the twenty-something detective through his flatmate Dr. Watson, all the way to "His Last Bow," in which a sixty-ish Holmes reunites with Watson to foil a German spy in advance of World War I.

There are too many stories to try balancing the merits of one against the detriments of another. It is only natural that some are better than others, but it is the breadth of them I find amazing. The mysteries solved cover everything from international intrigue, to simple revenge, to the discovery that, in fact, no actionable crime has been committed. Upon revisiting the stories, I was even surprised how many times Holmes plays fast and loose with the law. As a private detective, he has those privileges of discretion and deception unavailable to his official counterparts at Scotland Yard.

Another surprise is the nuanced intelligence of the world around Sherlock Holmes. Yes, there are many minor characters throughout the collection who bluster incredulity at the detective's methods and results, but there are just as many characters who, while incapable of mimicking his success, readily understand and appreciate his abilities without coming across as brainless or fawning. The criminals don't all fall in heaps and confess at the merest glimmer of his investigative prowess and the great detective is occasionally outsmarted either by a crafty villain, pure chance or his own inclination to overthink a simple problem ("kindly whisper 'Norbury' in my ear").

Watson, as narrator, is as well-defined a character of 19th century literature as you are likely to discover. His bewilderment at Holmes's deductions are tempered by his oft-stated disapproval of his friend's self-destructiveness, lack of empathy, and irrational contrariness, all of which goes far in making both characters endearingly human. They compare quite favorably to such one-dimensional Agatha Christie heroes as the vainly omniscient Hercule Poirot and his ineffectually blithering sidekick Colonel Hastings.

Interesting, also, is the changing sophistication evident in a series of stories that span thirty-plus years from the dawn of electricity to the age of phonographs and bi-planes. Earlier stories rely heavily on such catch-all frailties of human nature as "brain fever," with brandy serving as the universal resuscitative medical response. Fortunately, such naive devices gradually diminish as the stories progress.

And while Doyle shows himself at many turns to be socially liberal through the tales he tells, the mainstream prejudices and sexism of his times are evidenced in ways that likely raised few eyebrows a century ago, but which now are cringeworthy. Ethnic characters too frequently come across as cliched stereotypes and women, even those who earn the detective's respect, are too often depicted as demure and helpless creatures. This isn't the ideal tome for modern readers incapable of appreciating fiction from another era through the necessary filters.

As for the two editions of Fry's presentation, I prefer the shorter non-definitive addition without the final series of stories known as "The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes." These later stories, published in the 1920s toward the end of Doyle's life, stray from the successful formulae to a distracting degree and occasionally delve into the fanciful, abandoning the quaint logic-driven narratives of Doyle's earlier career.

All in all, Fry's performance is unerringly perfect and the source material -- in the unbiased opinion of this lifelong fan -- is nearly beyond reproach.

Book Rating: 5 out of 5
Audio Rating: 5 out of 5

"So Anyway..." by John Cleese

Before reading this review, be forewarned I am an ardent Monty Python fan. While this should, in no way, influence my opinion of John Cleese's autobiography, I make no promises.

If "So, Anyway..." suffers from anything, it is the fact Cleese did not write this book earlier in his life so a younger Cleese could have performed the material for the audio book. While the wit and comic timing so many of us have come to adore remain pitch perfect, as ever, the consistency of his delivery sometimes wavers as he begins passages with gusto only for the energy to slowly fade. It even seems he occasionally struggles to catch his breath, particularly during longer chapters.

And that is my only complaint. The rest of the experience was thoroughly enjoyable, surprisingly enlightening and just plain funny. I couldn't help but laugh out loud when, telling about how the German air force bombed his insignificant country village several times during WWII, his father eventually concluded the only reason the Germans wasted the ammunition was to prove they really did have a sense of humor. Stories like that one are what make "So, Anyway..." so memorable. Cleese doesn't spend the entire book reliving the Parrot Sketch. Instead, the majority of the stories he relates are new (at least to me) and touch on his early personal development as a person and comedic star.

At nearly 80 years of age (actually 74 when the autobiography was published) Cleese is a byproduct of British radio comedy and early BBC television programming that influenced him. His eventual rise to stardom as one-sixth of Monty Python might be a mystery to the millions of Americans who enjoyed the show when PBS imported it in the 1970s, but for anyone living in England it must have seemed a foregone conclusion. From his early days at Cambridge Footlights, through writing for and acting in multiple David Frost vehicles, Cleese's ascendance was inevitable.

To his credit, Cleese details his early life and subsequent success as a young writer/performer with tremendous humility and self-deprecation. Even in his autobiography, he seems not only willing but eager to share the spotlight with people he clearly considers deserving. I highly recommend "So, Anyway..." to anyone who ever loved Monty Python or A Fish Called Wanda, or really just to anyone who has a funny bone in need of tickling.

Book Rating: 5 out of 5
Audio Rating: 4 out of 5

"Lincoln's Grave Robbers" by Steve Sheinkin

One benefit of sharing your Audible account with your school age children is they occasionally are assigned a book to read that peaks your interest. In this case, one of my sons (who is dyslexic and listens to Audible books as he follows along in the print version) was assigned "Lincoln's Grave Robbers" a year or two ago. Who doesn't like a good true life crime mystery?

Author Steve Sheinkin relates the story of an attempt to rob Abraham Lincoln's body by counterfeiters who planned to hold the body for ransom in order to gain the release from prison of a notoriously gifted engraver named Ben Boyd. There is an excellent balance between quoted sources, historical records, appropriate vernacular of the era, and good old-fashioned yarn spinning. The book moves chronologically from the cause, to the planning, to the attempt without stopping to ponder too long on minor points of interest not of direct importance to the events, as many such books are guilty of doing. From time to time it might be difficult to keep track of all the different names being tossed around, but Sheinkin does his best to prod our memories when certain people re-enter the tale.

Regardless of the fact the book targets a teenage audience, the story is told maturely and entertainingly by both Sheinkin and the narrator of the Audible version, actor Will Patton. I recently listened to Patton narrate Stephen King's novel "Doctor Sleep" and, possibly because Sheinkin's material is more straightforward, found him much easier on the ears this time around. Here he lends just enough individuality to the historical figures without unnecessary melodrama. Patton provides a steady tone of voice that helps bring the subject matter to life in a way that keeps the listener engaged.

In short, I strongly recommend "Lincoln's Grave Robbers" for audiences young and old.

Book Rating: 4 out of 5
Audio Rating: 4 out of 5

"It" by Stephen King

I've been wanting to read Stephen King's "It" for a very long time, ever since completing "The Shining" in the late 1990s. The length of the book kept me at bay in my pre-Audible days, due largely to the fact I am a terrible reader. After a dozen or twenty pages, I lose all ability to concentrate and words fly passed my eyes without registering in my brain, or I fall asleep. Exactly how I managed to graduate college with a B.A. in English is a mystery.

Thankfully, veteran actor Steven Weber decided to read the book for me. Weber's performance is energetic, perhaps bordering on hammy from time to time, but that seems to have more to do with the writing than the reading. King can be subtle when he wants to be. When he was writing "It," subtlety clearly was not at the forefront of his interests. To his credit, Weber manages to maintain a consistency of volume, pacing and character representation throughout the entirety of more than forty-four hours of finished recording. God bless him. Someone give that man a lozenge.

There are many interesting and compelling aspects to "It." Obviously, Pennywise the clown pulls all the levers for anyone who has ever feared men in greasepaint. King's creation is perfectly creepy and disturbing, and it doesn't hurt to now have two iconic pop culture performances of the creature to bring Pennywise to vivid life in the mind of the reader. If you could somehow combine Tim Curry's delivery with Alexander Skarsgard's appearance, I doubt there would be a clean set of underpants in the screening room.

The heroes of the story, the seven kids who make up the Loser's Club and face down as both children and adults the evil creature at the malevolent heart of the town of Derry, are so well fleshed out they practically burst from the strain. In addition to throwing in an endless variety of potentially frightening imagery -- Pennywise is just one of many representations of evil It can assume -- King keeps piling on the early childhood traumas until each of the protagonists has enough emotional baggage to overwhelm Dr. Phil, Dr. Ruth, Jerry Springer and Oprah combined. Had a more vigorous editing of the book been carried out and some of these superfluous storylines been cut, the book might not seem such an endless slog at times. Weak or annoying characters become quite excessively weak and annoying, particularly when they return as adults to finish what they had left undone years earlier. And the convenience of the characters forgetting their experiences as they age and move away from Derry is just that: convenient.

Mostly, however, I take issue with the structure of the narrative. Putting aside my complaint about the convenience of the characters forgetting their childhoods, that device could have worked if, from the start, King chose to tell the story entirely from the perspective of these former friends reuniting and gradually remembering their pasts in a build up to the final battle with It. While there is a bit of this, the narrative voice ends up bouncing all over the place and King spills the beans on things that could have served as nice surprises for both the reader and the characters if introduced later in the book rather than in earlier chapters. By the time the Loser's Club actually does reunite as adults, we already know everything about them. All that remains for the adult characters is a rushed (if it's possible to even apply that descriptive to "It") and anti-climactic climax.

Hiding somewhere between its covers is a rich, dense and terrifying story that is buried under a pile of early draft ideas that struggle to coalesce. I found myself pulling for Pennywise long before Webber stopped reading, if only to allow the book to end so the man could rest his voice.

Book Rating: 2.5 out of 5
Audio Rating: 5 out of 5

"A Pocket Full of Rye" by Agatha Christie

My Mother always had an Agatha Christie mystery somewhere in the house. The classics -- "And Then There Were None," "Death on the Nile," "Murder On the Orient Express" -- were among my early introductions to adult literature.

Occasionally, I stumble across one of Christie's 70 books that has managed to remain unfamiliar to me and I am helpless to resist. An excellent Agatha Christie novel is a thing of tense beauty, exotic locations (or, at the very least, charming scenery) and upper class larceny. By comparison, a mediocre one can seem unoffensively lazy and cliched. Such is my general impression of "A Pocket Full of Rye."

Actor Richard E. Grant's performance of the material is commendable. His narration is wonderfully subdued and his voicing of the characters is purposeful without being distracting. Grant takes just enough liberties to give characters unique voices that help them stand out to the listener and never stoops to overacting. Put succinctly, he was the perfect choice for the material at hand.

Unfortunately, "A Pocket Full of Rye" has little meat hanging on its frail bones. There isn't much mystery to the murder. The cast of characters is woefully small. The murdered man is rich, unlikeable and unquestionably shady in his business dealings. He has left behind, among other things, two unlikeable sons vying for what remains of his fortune, a shifty home assistant, a young and unfaithful wife, and the obligatory wronged former business partner whose widow has vowed vengeance. Character names seem intentionally ridiculous -- the brothers Lancelot & Percival Fortesque, the religious zealot Miss Ramsbottom, the sleazy lover of the young wife Vivien Dubois. You get the idea.

The primary redeeming aspect of the book is the effectively imaginative and persistent Inspector Neele, for some reason sporting the same surname as the real-life mistress of Agatha Christie's first husband. Inspector Neele is a quietly compelling character who does most of the heavy lifting throughout the story. In fact, labeling "A Pocket Full of Rye" a Miss Marple mystery is as much a misleading bit of marketing as if you labeled "The Hobbit" a book about Gollum. Both characters are pivotal to the plots of their respective stories, but each makes what can be called, at best, a cameo appearance.

As a minor distraction, "A Pocket Full of Rye" suffices. Just don't expect too much.

Book Rating: 2 out of 5
Audio Rating: 4 out of 5